Fear – Living With it or In it?

No one was born with fear. Yet, we all have it.

Fear is often seen as negative. But is it all bad?

With all the incidents happening around the world currently, many are asking how best we can manage our fear. But can fear be managed?

What, Why and Where


What do we actually fear? Not being accepted? Not being recognized? Not being loved? Not being seen successful? A spider? Not having enough money? Flying in a plane? The height as in vertigo?

Whatever we fear, much of it has a good 50/50 chance it may or may not happen. So is it not all in our head? Manifestation?


Why do we have fear? No one was born with fear so indeed why do so many of us have fear regardless of what it may be?

Is it due to an experience we had? Is it due to what we are told or have heard? Or is it because of what we are shown or have seen?


Where does it come from? Does it come from within us or outside of us? Is the fear even ours? Could we have potentially picked it up from others – parents, peers, society? Have we even examined it?


The Common Big Fear

The common “big” fear most people have are fear of failure or fear of unknown.


It is usually about the failure of not achieving something external, such as a project. This fear often stops us from taking the first step in doing what we want to do. However, the focus has mostly been on not achieving what we set out to achieve. But how can we fail if we don’t even start? And how can we tell that we will fail, not succeed if we start?

If we look at it from the other side of the angle, how about the fear of not living our passion or fulfilling our dream in life if we don’t start because of fear of failure? Isn’t living our passion and fulfilling our dreams as important if not more important? Yet, fear of failure to live our passion and fulfil our dream doesn’t stop us as often the fear of failure in achieving something externally. Food for thought.


We don’t start or try new things because of an unknown. If we take a closer look at life, every single day is an unknown. We just think we know. But do we really?

Many of us live like that daily until one day we are hit by some serious incidents that make us “wake-up” or think otherwise. When we look at those who have been hit by incidents such as a car crash or serious illness, they no longer assume they know their life.

Instead, they take each day and their life more seriously knowing that every day is full of unknown. The unknown is known. And whether we have fear of the unknown or not, it doesn’t change how the day or life will turn out. What does is how we approach our day and our life.

. . . . . . . .

To remove fear from our life requires a tremendous amount of self-awareness. But the question we need to ask ourselves though, “Is fear all that bad?”

When fear is approached with a positive light, it can be our friend.

Let’s look at how we protect ourselves when we find ourselves in danger, such as in a fire. Is fear present? Yes. Is it bad? No, as it makes us more alert and aware of our surroundings so that we can find our way out as safely as we can. If that fear isn’t present even when we remain calm, our alertness and awareness may not be heightened to a level that’s required for that particular situation.

Fear is everywhere, as is love. It is our choice to choose to live with it or in it.

Another good example is the number of start-ups we see these days, successful or not. Do those individuals have no fear, be it that of failure or unknown?

Their passion and belief in what they do are far greater than that of failure or unknown. Their fear of not living their passion or fulfilling their dreams outweighs that fear of failure or unknown.

The key in transforming our fear to fuel is being crystal clear with our passion, intention or motive behind what we want to do besides knowing our What, Why and Where of our fear.

Fear can be managed if we choose to embrace it, not to avoid or run away from it. Fear gives us the space to check in with ourselves,

“Is the fear I am feeling even mine?”

and show us the areas where we can further improve ourselves.

What\’s your biggest fear? Where does it come from? Why do you have it? And more importantly, what are you doing about it?

Fear, living with it or in it, it is our choice.

(Photo by SHTTEFAN on Unsplash)