Transforming Self into the Greatest Leader

With the world changing so fast, many of us feel constantly being pulled into different directions. What makes sense in our minds isn’t always what we sense in our hearts. What we sense in our hearts may no longer make sense in our minds. 

This internal dilemma causes confusion, if not turmoil in our internal world and, therefore a disconnection between living the life that is true to WHO we are and the life we actually live. 

Many of us look great from the outside with picture-perfect families, great jobs and amazing lives. Yet, deep down, many feel empty inside. Something is missing in life and yet we can’t figure out what that is. 

Consequently, many, knowingly or unknowingly, openly or secretly, question WHAT we are doing in our life, struggle to understand WHO we are and WHY we are here.

Do you know anyone who has experienced that? I DO. 

At age 27, my income hit 6 digits as I climbed the corporate ladder. With Jimmy Choo on my feet, Louis Vuitton around my arm, great looking power suits, and the ability and the means to travel to many places and do things that I wanted, I indeed looked terrific from the outside. 

It was a great achievement if not a success considering I came from a humble background. And frankly, all I wanted when I was a kid was to get out from the small apartment in the public government estate to see the world out there. 

I enjoyed the luxury and comfort that money could buy. But that was very short-lived. As great as I looked from the outside, I felt somewhat empty from the inside. I thought I had everything that I wanted and I thought I’d be happy. But that wasn’t the case. Something was missing in life and yet, I had no idea what that was. 


Many of us are seeking our truths, the answers for our lives. And many are asking “What do I want to do with my life?” so that we can move forward in life.

Life’s journey can get lonely. After all, we are the only ones walking our path. When we can’t connect with the answers we are looking for in life, we can’t help feeling helpless, if not hopeless at times. 

But we need to remind ourselves that we are not alone. Many were like us, many are like us and many will be like us walking this very path. We may be alone but we are not entirely alone.

When I hit that invisible wall, I had no clue what’s happening to me. All the people I used to go out with were no longer the companies I wanted. They used to be fun but then they became un-relatable. 

From being surrounded by people constantly to finding myself being and wanting to be alone, it was quite a change. I so wanted and needed to talk to someone but I knew no one I could relate to with how I felt at that moment. From being assured and confident to feeling unsure and somewhat lost, it threw me off balance. The feeling of “I am here but I am not here” or “I am here but I don’t know where” was all a bit overwhelming. 

All that triggered a change in my life direction and took me to a place where I didn’t know it existed before. 


To gain the crystal clear clarity we desire and the authentic life we so want to live, first and foremost, we must learn how to remove the clutter in our minds so that we can create the space for the answers to present themselves. After all, how can we expect ourselves to see and think clearly when the mind is cluttered with non-serving thoughts and beliefs? 

True power doesn’t come from knowing.

True power comes from discovering. 

True power doesn’t come from knowing. True power comes from discovering. Hence, it is vital that we embark on if not continue our journey of self-discovery and reflection as it helps us get in touch with our sacred space to connect with our authenticity, the guidance and direction we look for in life.

Self-discovery and reflection not only give us the answers we are looking for but also the courage, faith and trust to walk our path, to literally write our own Codes for an authentic life. 

As I couldn’t find anyone I knew to speak with, co-incidence or NOT(!), I found myself being drawn to different things in life. It wasn\’t what money could buy. And it wasn\’t what I thought would make me happy. 

I turned inwards and went within. I was drawn to meditation, energy healing and channeling. All that was still being labelled taboo at that time in my society but I couldn’t deny myself how I felt when I was in that element – feeling totally at peace and grounded even though I had no idea of what was going on.

From attending corporate meetings during the day to meditation and healing circles in the evenings, as I let go and went within, my heart was telling me all sorts of big messages in little whispers that my mind couldn’t comprehend. 

As I sat and listened to the facilitator, or the healer as they were called, new insights and discoveries kept coming up as I continued to tune in and within. Things in my life that I thought I was clear of turned out to be not. Things I didn’t know about myself suddenly turned up and made me think and reflect deeply.     


Understanding our “unconscious ingraining” is one key element in making any major breakthrough in life. We need to break down our thoughts and beliefs so that we can see and embrace ourselves clearly, truthfully and in totality, as dark or light as it may be. Or else, our lives and those around us will continue to operate in a world of mystery, if not misery.

Being able to decode our thoughts and beliefs, change our mindset from a focus on limitation to a focus on possibility and opportunity, and have a plan in place to reinforce and sustain the process of transformation is instrumental in making any major breakthroughs.   

Our journey has no specific beginning or ending. Nothing is going to happen or change overnight even when we have put in the hardest work we can. It is a process, with its own timescale.

The clarity and the truth we seek can only reveal themselves when we dive deep within ourselves. Changes only happen when there is space

I honoured and followed the whispers from my heart, leaving my hard-earned established life in Asia behind without knowing why for Los Angles, a city where I had no friends, no job or visa to have a legal right to stay for long term. 

As crazy as it seemed, this city of angels provided me with a brand new space to go within, making me ask myself all sorts of hard questions to challenge my thoughts and beliefs when I had no one to lean onto other than myself. As my life no longer made sense in my mind, I followed what I sensed in my heart as my compass going forward.

In the journey, there were tears. There were doubts. There was fear. And there were many breakdowns as I couldn’t make things happen as how I thought they should be to warrant my stay financially or legally. 

On numerous occasions, I found myself sitting on the kitchen floor alone in my rented apartment crying my eyes out or tears streaming down my face as I was trying to steal a moment of peace on my yoga mat, wondering what I was doing to my life and why I had broken my good old one in pieces. 

With each breakdown came a breakthrough. I didn’t always get clear answers with each breakdown, but I certainly created space for any breakthrough to happen, when it happened.

I wrote journals. I spent time sitting alone mostly on the beach in Santa Monica. I drove along the Pacific Coast Highway at night with all the shining stars above me. I stared into the fire pit as I sipped my coffee in the Coffee Beans in my neighbourhood. The process was painful and yet totally rewarding. It happened then and it is still happening now.  


If we want to be the great leaders we envision, we must be clear of our WHO, WHAT and WHY in order to lead others authentically, truthfully and selflessly. 

As leaders, there is no guarantee that we would be the greatest ones even when we dive the deepest within. However, it is almost guaranteed that we would not be the best version of Self, let alone leaders if we don’t do the inner work. 

One common notion about leaders is that leaders are to lead. But at times it is enough, if not even more powerful, to inspire others by walking our path even when it takes us to a different world, breaking down SELF to make the necessary breakthroughs and embracing life in its entirety in the most authentic, honest and vulnerable way. 

The first person we must master to lead, leaders or not is Self. When we are clear of WHO we are, WHAT we want and WHY we want what we want, we will have the power to turn the seemingly impossible into possible, to live the life that is truly ours, and inspire and lead others to do the same.

The impact we make isn’t just for the people we work with. It includes our families, our communities and societies at large as the collective energy will be channelled through in one way or another amongst ourselves. 

Are you ready to transform your Self into the greatest leader and leave your mark as a milestone for yourself and the world? 


(Source and reference: The Code – transform your mind from the inside out, available as paperback and ebook on Amazon.)